Wednesday, April 8, 2009

Why I AM the Selfish One

I so appreciate all of your comments, e-mails, and concern! You guys are great! One comment really put into words what I was feeling and why I got so wound up about the one talk that said not having kids was selfish. I feel that ALL of the reasons I want kids are selfish reasons. So I thought I would share...

Somedays having kids and figuring out how to have them consume my every thought leaving no room to listen or carry on a conversation with anyone else.


During an argument with my husband I have been known to blame him for "making us wait to do more to have kids".


I want kids because that's what I've always wanted.
I want kids because that's what I've always been told I was supposed to do.
I want kids so I don't get asked "Are you two EVER going to have kids?"
I want kids so when I tell people I've been married for 5 years they don't think I'm strange.
I want kids so my husband can be a dad. He's gonna be such a great dad!
I want kids to fulfill my purpose in life.
I want kids so I can love them.
I want kids so I can be a mom, they can call me mom, and I can have children.
I want kids so I can provide them with the best mortal experience possible.
I want to change diapers.
I want to see their faces smiling at me.
I want to potty train them.
I want to have to clean up after them after asking them to do it.
I want all of the things that so many mom's complain about (and no worries... I'll be complaining about them too).
I want kids so I can feel like an adequate person.
I want kids so our family can feel whole.

I feel like each of these is a selfish reason... all to fulfill what I want or need. Maybe that's why I was so annoyed... because really, my desire for children is selfish and consumes a large part of me each day. If only I really believed that having dogs was easier and a better way to go then I could let it go and I wouldn't be asking so much, then I really wouldn't be quite so selfish...right?


Amanda said...

That's what I'm talking about. Good for you!

Alex said...

I have 3 dogs and as much as I love them they don't quite fill the void... you're not selfish, you're human, and its natural for us to feel these things. Heck, I believe that's part of what makes us who we are and HF put those maternal instincts in us for a reason. Not selfish at all, just righteous desires that *hopefully* some day will be answered with a child to love and hold and squeeze, and just be in awe of. Keep the faith, it will happen for us... some way or another! (((Hugs)))

SarahMarie said...

I don't think you are being selfish. Those are all things that I want too and at times I kind of stayed with someone because I wanted those things. I was hoping he could give me those things, even if I didn't have him there to help out with it all. So you are not selfish.