Thursday, April 16, 2009

Babies and Fixing Unspoken Misunderstandings

There have been LOTS of baby news in my life lately. Along with John and I having a long chat...

  • Over Spring break I finished crochetting all of the baby afghans for my cousins that have had kids. They turned out really well especially the last one I did :)!
  • Friday we found out we will be aunt/uncle x4 John's sister is pregnant with #4. We're so excited for them. I've always given them a hard time about when their children have been born (Nov, Dec, Jan)... Birthdays and Christmas gets difficult! This time they tried for a summer baby for me, but as I know OH SO WELL planning these things are not exactly EASY :0).
  • A week and a half ago my cousin Dian had her first baby. A boy. She was delivered 49 minutes after getting into the delivery room. The little guy spent a few days in the NICU getting antibiotics for an infection (that he never actually got) but he's home now and everything is going well.
  • A week ago my neighbor had her 3rd little boy. Yesterday we took them dinner. I got to spend a good 20 minutes holding this little guy (6lbs 5oz). John held him for a while too. He is so precious! We came home and I had a moment. I yelled "I want a baby!" John understood...I know he does... especially after our long chat the other day.

Last Friday we went to the temple. It was great to be there (even if I did cause ALL KINDS of problems!) I really wish we took more advantage of it being so close! A new goal to work on. Anyway, I really felt like I needed to talk to John about starting to save money for when he is done with school and we can try to have a baby again. We have at least two years (probably more). There are of course lots of things that are immediate or very near future needs or debts that need to be paid off ASAP. But by starting to save money we can eliminate the debt and be able to buy the new(at least to us) car that is in the very near future for us.

It shocked me when John kinda lost it when I brought all of this up. I guess he hasn't really thought about (like I have, since I think about it daily) the fact that we'd most likely have to resort to major medical interventions to have a baby. I don't know what he'd thought we'd go through... but from my wonderful blogging buddies...I know the road will be long and costly unless there is a miracle out there for us.

Our biggest misunderstanding was that he was freaking out about how we were going to make ends meet now if we were saving as much as I suggested for later...I of course took this wrong in the moment as "he wasn't willing to even give it a shot". Needless to say, now we understand each other and I'm not sure how we will proceed exactly, but I'm glad we got all of our feelings out in the open regardless. Because at least now I KNOW John knows how I feel and how I would like to proceed. Even if he still doesn't thing we're going to need as much 'help' as I do.

Moral of the story... talk about what you're thinking.

2 comments:

Jennifer said...

I am so glad that you and he understand each other. It is so important to comunicate feelings. I suck at it but am working on it. LOL :)

Parenthood For Me said...

If you and your spouse can understand each other and agree on these major major issues, that is is half the battle. I think about IF everyday and I'm sure DH never does. It's just the difference between the sexes.