So I had a mostly lovely weekend helping my sister move. Saturday night we had a wedding reception to go to for one of my great friends. I took him to my Jr. prom. After meeting and greeting both the bride and groom another friend from high school came up to chat with us. He's a year or so younger than me (but most of my friends in high school were that way). This is the conversation that followed:
Me: Hey, how are you doing?
SB(stupid boy): Hello! How are you?
Me: I'm loving life, everything is going really well.
SB So where are your kids then?
Me: I don't have any kids...Where are yours?
SB: Well wife just graduated, I changed my major...we don't have kids yet.
Me: Well, I have 17 first graders.
SB: They don't count.
SB continues talking I'm trying to not hit him... my sister is trying to change the subject with him... she's ready to hit him too.
Me:You know my standard response has become when Heavenly Father decides it's right for us to have kids we'll have them. (SB gives me a high five.)
SB: But that means you have to be listening (SB then slaps my husband on the arm who had been talking to someone else and tells him that he has to be listening)
Me: Well c-ya later
SB:Great to see you!
Me: Yeah, sure.
Somewhere in there I told his wife she was amazing for putting up with him (he's quite self absorbed and overly confident) plus from this conversation doesn't know what is his business and what isn't. I also called him Ryan to his wife...Totally not his actual name... and for a few minutes I didn't realize I had done it. lol. Oh well.
Needless to say this conversation infuriated me! Some people have such a warped sense of "how easy it is to get pregnant" you know the whole middle school safe sex talk "It only takes ONE time". Oh how I wish that were true.
I hope this kid learns some boundaries on what is appropriate to talk about and what isn't. But even after his unkind, rude words I wouldn't wish him to have to go through what I have.
I wish no one had to go through IF. The guilt alone for not being able to fulfill my life's purpose (self imposed thoughts no one else's fault) nor give my husband a child is devastating some days. Not to mention all of the other inadequacies, disappointments, failures, and let downs felt in this process.
The nice part of the evening was getting to see some REAL friends who asked how life was and were genuinely interested in my response even if children never came up in the conversation. Also seeing one of my long time friends who also has endo and her twins was a realy joy (It generated a lot of hope that when the time is right it will happen.)
So another weekend down! Luckily I get to pretend the dreaded upcoming holiday isn't happening this year (except when I call my own mother and maybe even send her some flowers or something). That is a huge relief!