Friday, December 3, 2010


So on the way home from our appointment we discussed who we were telling and who we weren't telling that we were trying again. Many people in our day to day lives are close friends and know about our infertility issues. We ultimately decided it was an all or none kind of thing after the 'who we should tell' list kept getting longer. The major reason for this is that Pro.vera makes me a psycho! My sister had called earlier and I returned her call when we were almost home and she was the lucky first to know. It was good to get it out there.

I told our principal on Wednesday and she was SO supportive saying wonderful words of encouragement. I also told her I felt like I really needed to let the rest of the staff know what was going on. She insisted that I didn't have to tell them and she'd just stick up for me and make excuses if needed... but if you know me at all, you know excuses are a HUGE pet peeve! I told a few of my co-workers because I had to tell someone else (and my mom wouldn't answer the phone, so she still doesn't know). Then at a faculty meeting I told everyone through tears that we were trying again. I also told them how the meds make me crazy, and to feel free to ask questions about the process or procedures, and be sure to tell me to go hide in my room when I was unbearable. They were so excited for us and they have all been SO supportive.

I've been pleasantly surprised at the lack of "infertility clueless" comments I've gotten... although that may have something to do with the fact that I told them if they told me to "just relax and it will happen" I might cause them physical harm. That doesn't mean I haven't heard some though! I was offered some unsolicited advice... I should have politely declined when I had the chance. She said I should name my 'psycho Pro.vera induced side' and talk badly about it and tell it to go away. It was very interesting.

In addition to my co-workers, we are also sharing the news in our Christmas letter. I know so many family members who suffer or have suffered from infertility that I just can't pretend like it's not happening to us anymore. Also, I have some very opinionated family members that think John and I are selfish for not having children yet and also think I shouldn't be so "career minded and focus more on growing my family" (direct quote from an uncle of mine). So we figured, the more prayers out there for us the better and we were going to be open, honest, and frank about the situation.

I have to say, this is the most freeing thing I've my life! I can't believe I didn't think of it sooner. If I would have known how much better I would feel after letting it go and "sharing" this burden of ours, I would have done it YEARS ago.

If only i could figure out how/what to tell my third graders that is age level appropriate to explain my wild mood swings... my life would be a piece of cake!


Lindsay said...

I wish the girls and I were there to give you all the hugs that you are needing right now. You are definitely in our prayers.

Determination said... told a lot of people....I sure hope you get the support that you need and that everyone understands.

Annie said...

Love your idea for the Christmas letter. I gave up writing Christmas letters a few years ago because I couldn't write the type of happy letter that seems expected this time of year. "Coming out" is very brave of you and I hope you gets lots of prayers and support from those around you, and ultimately success in your journey!

Chelle said...

I am a firm believer in letting those around you in on what you are going through for so many reasons. The first, and biggest is that you allow them to be your support system. You have afforded them the opportunity to pray and cheer for you. Let's face it, when going through infertility, you need all the prayers you can get. Secondly, it helps them appreciate the fact that not everyone can get pregnant as easily as a Du.ggar. (I love the Du.ggar's btw.) It also helps them appreciate the miracle that your baby will be.

I am excited for you, and I hope and pray that your struggle results in a baby.

Gretchen said...

I think that makes complete sense. It allows you to have people that are, hopefully, understanding and supportive around you. And as you said, it'll result in more people praying for you, which is never a bad thing!

Gretchen said...
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Krissi said...

Wow! You are so brave! But that's awesome that you're getting it out there! I just featured your blog! And btw, I'm a teacher too!