Sunday, May 9, 2010

Mother's Day Love

Many of "my friends" chose to ignore my facebook posts about NIAW.

Unfortunately, many of "my friends" are family. Some of whom have experienced infertility.

Many people choose to change the subject because discussing my infertility is awkward for them.

Most people choose to judge John and I's childless state and make comments like
  • "aren't you EVER going to have kids?"
  • "you're a teacher so you must like children."
  • "why are you a teacher if you don't like kids since you don't have any?"
  • "you've been married long enough, maybe you should think about children?"
  • "maybe you should quite teaching and have children."
  • "maybe if you weren't so focused on your career you'd have children."

However, I am a very lucky girl! I have many marvelous people in my life that get me, and care enough to support me.

My sister in law, commented and reposted every link I shared on facebook, reads and comments on my blog regularly, and always is thinking of how to make my day brighter. On Tuesday I came home to a package at my front door. Inside were these:

customized M&M's that say "We love you Aunt Erika" and this note.

It says " Aunt Erika, just wanted you to know that we were thinking of you on Mother's Day. Love the Kids"

So SPECIAL! Thank you! I love you guys and appreciate your thoughtfulness!

Then Thursday came. We ended up at school a little later than usual, had to run a few errands, and again, I came home to another package at my front door. (I NEVER get packages delivered to my house, our rural area has to go to the post office.) This one was 2 dozen gorgeous roses from my wonderful sister Dana. See:

With this note... isn't she amazing!

Then on Friday, my Aunt called me. Last year I spent Mother's Day with her. She watched how I cringed in church at some of the words that were spoken and knew how hard this day is for me. She called to make sure I was ok, and ready to brave today with a smile. It was one of the most appreciated uplifting pep talks EVER!

Finally today at church, I was mentioned by name, in one of the talks. I literally was so overwhelmed with gratitude I basically tackled the poor man to the ground afterwards telling him thank you. We both were teary eyed.

I have never felt more loved than I feel this week! Thank you to all my wonderful supporters! You make this life worth living!

I have a new what IF for you...

What IF everyone had this kind of a support system while suffering through infertility?


Missy said...

Wow! You are so blessed this to have this support.

Lynn said...

Awww! I'm so glad it's been a great week for you! Such lovely people in your life :D And I hope you had a wonderful Mother's Day, because we are all mothers at heart....we're just a baby short!

Mom said...

You know you are more than loved by me. You are the other daughter that I always wanted, but couldn't have.I am so glad this year was easier for you.

Life Happens said...

What great people you have in your life. That made me teary eyed just reading it.

I wish more people could have the same kind of love and support.

daega99 said...

You have a wonderful support system! I teared up over the message with the m&ms!


KD said...

Wow, that is beautiful!! :)

Anonymous said...

If everyone had this kind of support during IF then I know I wouldn't have spent many a night crying to my pillow, many a night wondering how I'm going to make it through the night and many a time wondering why no one who supposedly loves me recognises or acknowledges the fact that I'm still struggling with every single one of my losses after the fact.

You're very very lucky. I spent Mothers Day in bed in tears alone this year - yay!

Those flowers and M&M's are just gorgeous!!

Happy ICLW!!

Niki said...

Hi Erika! Thanks for becoming my newest follower. I just became yours. I loved this post. It really moved me. Infertility can be emotionally crushing and a good support system can get you through anything. I am looking forward to following your journey and being a part of your support system.

Happy ICLW!(#64)

s said...

people are so stupid.
i hate when people talk out of their ass and make such rude insensitive comments.
someone recently said to me 'don't let the bastards get you down...they outnumber us'.
keep your head held high, and consider the source!

Krissi said...

How very sweet that your sister and aunt thought of you this way! What a great support system you have indeed!! Happy ICLW! I just added your link! (Stress Free Infertility #94)

PFM said...

Those comments are so thoughtless but it sounds like you have more than enough good things in your life to make up for people's stupidity. Just have acknowledgement that mother's day may be a difficult day for you is awesome.
Check out my non profit blog and our facebook page-
Parenthood for


Anonymous said...

Wow! That is so amazing that you have family members that thought of you over mother's day! I'm sure not many infertiles have had experiences like that! Happy ICLW!

Blondie said...

Wow, you've got to be KIDDING with some of those comments! People can be so ridiculous. I suppose if they've never experienced IF first or second hand, they may be oblivious to the problems some of us have and how hurtful things like that can be. But still...doesn't make me want to smack those comments right out of their mouths any less! ;-)