This will probably not come to a shock to many people, John said he's known this was coming for a while now. However, if you're offended I didn't tell you in person, I'm sorry. Don't take it personally, it wasn't a decision I was talking over with people or getting input from others on, not even John. He's always said this was my decision and he'd support me in whatever I decided. I just finally told him what I had finally decided.
So, after attending an adoption orientation meeting last month in attempts to gather information, I can, officially, say we're done. I will not be putting myself through any more treatments to become a parent nor will we be filling out mountains of paperwork trying to prove we're worthy enough to parent. I informed John that I'm done. I can't do it any more. It's not worth our relationship, which after being separated for 42 days this summer, I was reminded it is certainly the best part of my life. So, we're done. Right now, I don't foresee us, as long as we're in a similar situation to now, ever changing this decision and I'm okay with that.
So, needless to say, I'm not sure what to do with this space of mine on the internet. I could keep it, or not. I could delete it, or not. I will still be blogging occasionally at my personal blog and I'm hoping to jump into the teacher blogging/creating world. Not sure if I'm dedicated enough for that, though! I've learned so much from this community and I've grown very attached to so many of you. I will still be following each of you, for sure! Thanks for all of the support! You're the best!