Wednesday, December 23, 2009

Home Sweet, Awkward Home

Well it's Wednesday night so I've been home for 60 hours. It's been INTERESTING! The plane ride was awful, the ride home was fun, and walking in the door I was handed a chore chart for the week. Today I was in charge of dishes, cooking, and walking Griffy. Let's just say, John cooked dinner. This evening everyone is gone except Logan, John and I. So we're playing Mario Kart on the Nintendo 64. Yup, we're old school!

It's been an overall good time... with some VERY awkward moments.
Monday Skylar got his wisdom teeth out which led to some very hilarious moments including him giving himself a pep talk in the mirror to swallow his pills, him singing "Oh where , oh where has my swallow gone?", and freaking out over a boiling pot of water he thought we were going to cook him in. Monday was also my aunt's birthday and they came up so we could celebrate. We also had a great showing from my brothers' friends. There were probably 17 people in and out that evening!

I went to lunch with my dear friend Gretchen today. We have so much in common and always have a great time sharing our lives catching up. Gretchen came over for a few hours to talk about Twilight, which she is just now reading... we had a blast! Plus it was a great chance for me to find out all about the behind the scenes stuff from her wedding!

Today Tanner and Bob (my 17 yr old brother and mom's husband) had a moment of severe contention in front of a bunch of company so that is one of the many reasons why everyone has gone their separate ways this evening. I just don't know how to deal with Bob. It's not that I don't like him or that I'm not glad he married my mom. I'm so glad they are married and happy! I just don't know what he expects of me, and he has as many mood/personality swings as every one else in our family! While I've been home he either is ignoring us or railing us with questions about things we really don't know the answer to or care to share the answer with him. So I'm not sure how to treat him or react to him especially when he's correcting my grammar.

Anyway, tomorrow we are going to the Children's Museum and I'M SO EXCITED!!! Then we will serve dinner at the homeless shelter. Should be a great Christmas Eve. Love my family, glad I'm here, hoping things with Bob get less awkward soon. Any advice on dealing with step fathers would be greatly appreciated... I've considered having a DTR (define the relationship) discussion with him... I just lose my courage when it comes time, or I'm annoyed and don't want to come off that way. Hope you're all having a lovely week leading up to Christmas.

Saturday, December 19, 2009

Dreading a Hormonal Christmas at Home

Well I guess now its 6:30 so I shouldn't necessarily be asleep, but when I woke up at 5:00 this morning I definitely should have been. I'm dreading next week while being thrilled for it at the same time. We're headed to Indy for Christmas, which is guaranteed to be stressful. Here's why I'm dreading it:
  • Its my "favorite" week out of the month (and I'm usually not very sociable this week each month... plus it exponentially compounds each of these other reasons!)
  • Its the first Christmas I'll be home for since before my dad died.
  • Bob will be there (and as much as he's a nice guy, he stresses me out... I don't know exactly why) Plus this will be the first time EVER for me to be HOME while HE is there. I'm sure I'll find issues with that during my hormonal overdrive moments!
  • My mom... lets just say that since she's married Bob I talk to her maybe once a month... maybe.
  • No escape. I will not have a car to use, which means there will be no escaping during those moments that I know will come (often) when I want to tear everyone's head off if they don't leave me alone. I will be stuck. Which is going to make it even worse... I don't deal well with no escape, and knowing there isn't one is going to make me want one even more.
  • Advocare... my brothers have been using and selling this product. It's not that it doesn't work, I've watched my brother loose 75 lbs and turn other weight into muscle since April, so I know it works...and I want to use it, because weight loss is key to this whole IF thing...but I don't have ANY money to buy it=awkward=stress.

Honestly, none of these are really that big of a deal, and hopefully won't be a big deal, but I know how hormonal I get during this week of my life, so I'm just hoping I can somewhat control myself.

Here are some reasons why I'm SO EXCITED:

  • Logan is home from his 2 year LDS mission... this means I haven't seen him in over 2 years!
  • Dana is home from a semester abroad in Jerusalem with trips to Egypt, Galilee, Jordan, and many other too cool places. I can't wait to see pictures.
  • Skylar will be getting his LDS mission call that tells us where he will be serving for the next two years.
  • Tanner... what can I say, I love this kid!
  • Family: I really do love all of them, I love being with them, I love being home
  • Gretchen, one of my dearest friends, I always love getting to see her. Hopefully she can handle my raging hormones and still love me!
  • Thursday is free admission to the Indianapolis Children's Museum. It is the largest Children's Museum I've ever seen or heard of. Yes I know it's Christmas Eve. Yes I know I HAVE NO CHILDREN. But I'm a teacher, and I'm a gigantic child at heart. SO, if I can figure out a way to get there, I WILL be there!
  • Home... I hope it will really feel like home still, like it did in September when I was there.

You see, I truly have so much to be grateful for. And I am grateful. I just am terrified at what my emotions and hormones will be doing for the next week or so... and if that, plus all my reservations about going in the first place will end OK with everyone alive and still loving each other.

Heaven help us all!

Now, if I could just get some sleep so I'm starting this off on the right foot, we all MAY survive this!

Saturday, December 5, 2009

I'm Alive

I don't have any excuses, except for nothing really to blog about and just not feeling like blogging. I do have a few things to share from the past month and a half though. but nothing related to infertility. Just everyone else's fertility which is almost more exciting I think! Babies I get to hold and love on without the responsibility. I'm loving every minute of it lately! Anyway, the upped dose with Met.formin is kicking my trash. I just hope it's worth it and it does what it's supposed to and I don't end up resistant to Met.formin too. So between the Met and all the illnesses I've had this school year, I come home and fall asleep on the couch almost daily. Hopefully the new year will bring a new burst of energy!

I'll do a better job, I promise!