Saturday, December 19, 2009

Dreading a Hormonal Christmas at Home

Well I guess now its 6:30 so I shouldn't necessarily be asleep, but when I woke up at 5:00 this morning I definitely should have been. I'm dreading next week while being thrilled for it at the same time. We're headed to Indy for Christmas, which is guaranteed to be stressful. Here's why I'm dreading it:
  • Its my "favorite" week out of the month (and I'm usually not very sociable this week each month... plus it exponentially compounds each of these other reasons!)
  • Its the first Christmas I'll be home for since before my dad died.
  • Bob will be there (and as much as he's a nice guy, he stresses me out... I don't know exactly why) Plus this will be the first time EVER for me to be HOME while HE is there. I'm sure I'll find issues with that during my hormonal overdrive moments!
  • My mom... lets just say that since she's married Bob I talk to her maybe once a month... maybe.
  • No escape. I will not have a car to use, which means there will be no escaping during those moments that I know will come (often) when I want to tear everyone's head off if they don't leave me alone. I will be stuck. Which is going to make it even worse... I don't deal well with no escape, and knowing there isn't one is going to make me want one even more.
  • Advocare... my brothers have been using and selling this product. It's not that it doesn't work, I've watched my brother loose 75 lbs and turn other weight into muscle since April, so I know it works...and I want to use it, because weight loss is key to this whole IF thing...but I don't have ANY money to buy it=awkward=stress.

Honestly, none of these are really that big of a deal, and hopefully won't be a big deal, but I know how hormonal I get during this week of my life, so I'm just hoping I can somewhat control myself.

Here are some reasons why I'm SO EXCITED:

  • Logan is home from his 2 year LDS mission... this means I haven't seen him in over 2 years!
  • Dana is home from a semester abroad in Jerusalem with trips to Egypt, Galilee, Jordan, and many other too cool places. I can't wait to see pictures.
  • Skylar will be getting his LDS mission call that tells us where he will be serving for the next two years.
  • Tanner... what can I say, I love this kid!
  • Family: I really do love all of them, I love being with them, I love being home
  • Gretchen, one of my dearest friends, I always love getting to see her. Hopefully she can handle my raging hormones and still love me!
  • Thursday is free admission to the Indianapolis Children's Museum. It is the largest Children's Museum I've ever seen or heard of. Yes I know it's Christmas Eve. Yes I know I HAVE NO CHILDREN. But I'm a teacher, and I'm a gigantic child at heart. SO, if I can figure out a way to get there, I WILL be there!
  • Home... I hope it will really feel like home still, like it did in September when I was there.

You see, I truly have so much to be grateful for. And I am grateful. I just am terrified at what my emotions and hormones will be doing for the next week or so... and if that, plus all my reservations about going in the first place will end OK with everyone alive and still loving each other.

Heaven help us all!

Now, if I could just get some sleep so I'm starting this off on the right foot, we all MAY survive this!


Lee Family said...

Good luck Erika. I love ya and will miss you both at Christmas. :)

G said...

Aww...i'm excited to see you too!!!

Heather said...

Glad to find you and very happy to be wishing you a Christmas filled with peace--and a sense of HOME.