Saturday, January 26, 2013

Undiscussed Reality

I'm going to be very frank. I've chosen, after 9 years, the reality that I never wanted to consider as a possibility during that time.

I think there were moments of clarity during the last 9 years, when I'd realize that everyone doesn't end up with a baby of their own through miracles with treatments or adoption.

I read 1 blog in 9 years about a couple who had chosen to live child free, but she's stopped blogging, however she did recently post about a support group.

I think it's important to realize that this is reality for several people living with infertility.

They don't get to Resolve their infertility with children. At all. Ever.

I wish there were more of an outspoken community for us. Sometimes I feel as though I don't even fit in with the infertile community anymore because I'm living the reality no one wants to consider. Including me. Over the last 9 years.

However, I thankfully have zero regrets.

I think lots of people "feel bad for me" because "I'd be such a great mom". Or so I'm told every time our situation comes up in conversation.

However, I want people to stop feeling sorry for me and let us, John and I, be enough. It's enough for us, why can't it be enough for everyone else, too?

Anyway, I don't know how often I'll blog in this space, but I am going to keep it going, because, even though no one wants to consider this reality... When it becomes yours, I'll be here to sympathize with you.


Sara McLaughlin said...

Please keep blogging...
I struggle with this thought every day. Though we still haven't exerted our energies with the tough treatments... I secretly believe that we will be the couple that doesn't resolve our infertility. I want to follow your journey through everything, even the childlessness...

I love the part when you say you don't want anyone to feel sorry for you, that you and your husband are enough... that resounds with me completely.

Dana Blackburn said...

You guys ARE enough!! In fact, you're MORE than enough! I am so proud of you and John, and so grateful to be a part of your eternal family. I know that this hasn't been easy, but because of your example I will have the strength and the support to possibly face this same situation one day. So even though we're sisters and talk very openly, I hope you'll keep blogging so I'll have something to look back on if I ever need it. Loves!!

C Hunter said...

I agree with you there are plenty of support groups for others, but few if any for those who just can't. I hope you can find what you're looking for, but more importantly hopefully the technology and egg banks and fertility clinics keep getting better and better so those who want to can realize success.