Father's Day

Father's Day is so much harder than Mother's Day for me.

Two years, one week, and 6 days ago my own father passed away from cancer. That right there is enough to make this day hard. I was/have always been/will always be a daddy's girl. And while I know he's in a place far better from here, it doesn't make the times when I still pick up the phone and try and call him any easier. That moment when I realize that he can't sympathize with me, give me advice, or consol me with words I hear or hugs I feel, hurts.

Every time.

To add to it, my dear husband is still not a father. And yes I do, always, blame that on myself. More than anything that is what I want out of my life is to watch some little child, well, our little child, climb up in his lap, tell him "You're the BEST daddy, EVER! Happy Father's Day!" and hug and kiss him. He deserves that. He's the most wonderful man in the world, and he deserves a little one to love him as much as I love my own daddy.

So to the two most important men in my life I'm sorry this day is so hard for me, because it really should be all about you both.

I love you

Happy Father's Day!

UP! Absolutely Fantastic!

So I went to see Disney Pixar's UP on Monday night with my husband, sister, friend, and her family (including 4 kids). I had heard rumblings of UP dealing with infertility issues but hadn't read anything specific. I'm not going to give you any details about the movie, there are lots of other places you can read a full summary mixed with others personal feelings on the movie. Here is my own lowly opinion of this movie...


I LOVE anything and everything Disney, always have, and this movie was no exception. UP is fantastic. Pixar does an excellent job threading how infertility effects every aspect of life, the initial let down, and a slightly warped view of the world. I must say that Carl and Ellie's love for one another despite all of their hardships definitely reminds me of John and I. I hope that wherever our infertility journey leads us we are as happy along the way as Carl and Ellie were. And honestly if our outcome is the same as Carl and Ellie's I really think we'll be ok. The last 6 years of being just us have been great! Plus we are able to love a ton of kids (without worrying about screwing them up for life) lol :)

I made it through UP without crying at all, I did get choked up a few times, but no tears. It really wasn't sad, these two people were so happy despite their circumstances and that to me was so inspiring! I highly recommend UP to any and all, it is an excellent movie!