Suppression

Well since the middle of July I've been on bcp non stop. I must admit, it's not as wonderful as I had figured it would probably be. The hormonal headaches and non-stop cramps (while not severe) have been uncomfortable. But, looking at the craziness I've heard others talk about on lu.pron, I really have very few complaints. My blood pressure was through the roof when I saw my doctor in August. He went as far as to say that he may have to take me off the bcp if my blood pressure wasn't under control. I must admit, I've been taking every day and it's been much more normal 110/76 is about where I'm usually at. Sometimes its lots lower than that even. Finally, I've gained almost all of the weight back that I lost last year. I really need some motivation! Hopefully I can find some soon!


In other news, I'm also trying to find some motivation and the time to get back to blogging more. John's taking two classes this semester (english and educational psych.) which require a lot of writing. I'm trying to go through the process to become a national board certified teacher (read a hundred typed pages of me analyzing myself and every decision I make throughout 3 different lessons/units with supporting artifacts and documentation and video). So needless to say, the computer is often used, but not so much for blogging, OBVIOUSLY!

I vow to attempt to be better. I'm still reading all of your blogs and I'm on twitter to check in every so often. I miss the community you all helped me create here. I don't want to loose it. Stick around until April 1 when all my national board stuff has to be turned in, okay!

Results

Overall, the results were fantastic meaning they confirmed things we already knew and confirmed I didn't have things my doc was concerned I might.

• Great cortisol levels (possibly even a little low in the morning) means no cushing's disease/syndrome which means no tumor, no surgery, no radiation!
• Great sugar numbers means no diabetes... even right after drinking the nasty orange drink they were within normal range! Meaning years of met.formin has done what its supposed to do, however I did go off the metf.ormin for 4 days prior to getting my blood drawn. (also if anyone can tell me in normal people terms what exactly met.formin does, I'd greatly appreciate it!)
• normal thyroid, estrogen
  
• super high testosterone(I'm at the high end for guys which is 100 times more that what a girl should have) ... this confirms PCOS which my RE calls excess androgen syndrome (which he did the research making this a disease/syndrome... so he knows lots about it and since he doesn't call it PCOS is the reason why I never remembered him saying I had PCOS... it all makes sense now!)
  
• my 17 Hydroxyprogesterone number was also really high... which means I could have had multiple follicles ready to ovulate. Huge since that's my biggest obstacle.
  

The downside... cause you knew there had to be one. My cholesterol is also really high my LDL puts me in the moderate risk range, but my HDL (the good stuff) is almost double where it needs to be. Moral of the story.... I have to exercise, which you all know how self motivated I am. So I'm trying to do more of that.

Whirlwind Week: RE appointments

WOW! So much has happened this week... I'm having a hard time even processing it all, and that it's only been a week. If I got this much done in any "normal" week my house would be spotless, I'd be an excellent cook, I'd bake cookies for all my neighbors, and I'd have 3 jobs!

Monday morning we drove to Salt Lake (usually at least 5 hours from our house) to see the RE. We got to the office in record time, 4 hours and 45 minutes!!! So we were at least 1 hour early for our actual appointment. This was a very good thing, because when we got there... the RE's office was no longer in that building. I tried calling their office and it was doing some weird ring. So I go in and ask at the pharmacy in the medical building we were at and they tried calling and it did the same thing to them. But they told me where they thought the office was. I looked up the hospital, called them, and got connected. Lucky for me, we figured out where we needed to go and it was only a few miles away.

When we finally got there... we waited for 1 1/2 hours... I guess it's not always good to be so early ;) That evening the RE took my history, explained some things to us we were concerned about, like the possibility of a uterine abnormality, and finally asked how we were handling all this emotionally (that's when I finally lost it, cause you know I can't lie). But I did pretty well. Relatively speaking. By the time we were done, the office was closed and all the office staff had gone home, the lights were all out, and we were locked in. lol Needless to say, if for no other reason than to feel understood, for the first time, with all of our concerns, was well worth the drive!

That night we headed back to stay with my aunt and uncle. It is always a pleasure to be in their company and they were so gracious to let us stay with them with only a day's notice. If you read this, Thanks again!!!

The next afternoon we headed back to Salt Lake for the exam portion of the RE appointments. It was of course uncomfortable, but not nearly as bad as it used to be back before he did my laparoscopy and found/got rid of my endo, so that was wonderful to me. After noticing some various things, the RE reported that he things I have cushing's disease/syndrome. I just found this website, but all ready it's much more helpful than anything else I've read. It's scary... the words that keep zipping through my brain are MRI, tumor, surgery, radiation. I know that this is not even a diagnosis yet (because that in and of itself is hard to get), however, after reading what I have read... I have almost ALL of the symptoms. (One of which is difficulty remembering things...now I have a possible legitimate cause!)

I'll write a seperate post about what we're doing moving forward, later.

Moving On

Well tomorrow we head to Salt Lake to meet with the RE that did my laparoscopy 9 years ago. Back then in my post-op I was told the best thing to help with my endo was to get pregnant seeing as then I was 18 and unmarried it wasn't really a feasible option... so hopefully, he can help us begin in our venture now. I don't know that we'll stick with him being that SLC is 5 hours away from us. However, it seemed like a good place to start because hopefully we can get some things out of the way and get the insurance to pay for them seeing as he's not at an "infertility" clinic. Plus stepping into the unknown is a scary place and knowing this RE and liking him makes it seem not quite so bad. So with that said... the whistle's blowing and this train we're on is on, full steam ahead.

Update

6 months
1 abnormal and excruciatingly painful HSG $150
23 chiropractor appointments FREE (remind me to tell you that story if I haven't already. MOST AMAZING PEOPLE EVER!)
5 rounds of Clo.mid=35 pills $100 (2 rounds 50 mg 3 rounds 100mg)
2 rounds of Prov.era (back to back)=20 pills $40
30 ovulation predictor sticks peed on only 1 smiley face (and yeah... totally skipped testing one cycle and half of another...) $60
4 negative pregnancy tests (all in a span of 2 weeks) $30
2 doctors appointments
Countless missed phone calls and hours playing phone tag
and more emotional roller coasters

Tomorrow is the day... I knew it was coming to this, we probably would've been smarter to have taken the referral 6 months ago... but tomorrow is the day we get a referral to a specialist. We haven't decided where we'll go yet. Maybe north to Salt Lake City (5 hours away) where I had my first lap 9 years ago, or possibly Vegas (2 hours) it is after all the closest...or we've talked about staying in state and going to Phoenix (7 hours) and using doctors we've met at RESOLVE functions, or even going to LA (6 hours) where at the Southwest Family Building Conference hosted by resolve we totally made light of our situation. I'm so torn. I have no idea what decision we'll actually make. I'm beginning to think that its just not worth it. It might not work anyway, we don't have the money to move forward wherever we go. But we have to... we have to keep going. I have to keep going. I have to know once and for all what it will take, if its even humanly possible for my body to do what it's supposed to. If its capable, and what all is actually wrong with me.

I'm thankful tomorrow is finally here... now hopefully I won't leave you all hanging for another 6 months! Thanks for sticking around. Thanks for still being supportive even though I'm a lame blogger.

Summer

This is how I hope to spend the next 4 days :)

Hopefully its much less stressful than the last 18 hours have been!

I promise to catch you all up on the last 4 cycles when I get back and can breathe!

Bring on the crazies!

Just got off the phone with the doc. office.  Another round of prome.trium it is...

After I take JUST ONE MORE pregnancy test. 

They just don't get it.