Oops! Happy 100th post to me; better late than never!

So, apparently I TOTALLY missed my 100th post.

OK, I didn't miss it.  It was my first post of 2012.

I just didn't acknowledge it.

This is post 104.  I'm determined to keep up blogging and hope to add another 100 posts this year alone... which looking at my history would be more than the last 3 years combined, go figure!

In honor of my 104th post, and my 5th day in a row blogging, and my recent craftiness, I've decided to have a little thank-you contest.

I'll give one of you that comment on this post something homemade or semi-homemade by yours truly.  I crochet, make jewelry, teach, and love scrap-booking and card-making.  You can pick your poison.  Also, if there's something you've found that you'd love to have me make you, link to it in your comment as well.  I'm not making any promises that I can make you what you link to, but I'll try my hardest! 

To enter, just leave a comment linking me to your blog, twitter account, email, or pintrest boards.   Make sure I have SOME way to let you know you won my little contest. 

This little contest will be open until Tuesday, January 10, 2012 at 9pm MST.  Good Luck!

And thanks for reading! 

in full disclosure, no one is paying me or giving me anything to do this giveaway.  I will be providing the prize, materials, and man power to make it at my own expense i just love this online community and want to give a small piece of me back. 


Thank you for those of you who entered my little contest!  Winners chosen. 

New school day...

Well, I had a typical day.

The administration extended our school day by 30 minutes since we've come back from break.  Also, I'm tutoring for an additional hour  Tue, Wed, and Thu so I'm now not even thinking about leaving school until 4 o'clock (i have to be there at 7:45 or earlier).  Needless to say I came home and crashed.  This extra 90 minutes is kicking my trash!  But I can do one more month of anything, right!? 

While I napped, Tuffy was barking like crazy, he does every day when the neighbor takes his two dogs  down past our house to the wash. So, John locked him inside.  When he came in he drained his water dish.  We forgot to open the doggie door when we left for mutual (church activity for girls and boys 12-17).  We were home a good 20 minutes before John discovered the shut doggie door and the literal river across the tile floor as a result.  Poor Tuffy! He's never had that kind of accident in the house.  Thankfully, I have my steam cleaner. (After we cleaned it all up and used cleaner on it.)

Also, 4 days in a row, if you're keeping track like I am ;) yay!

Back to school

So, today was the first day back to school.  It is AMAZING to me how much I ADORE some of the people I work with and how much I miss them when I don't get to see them 5 days a week and yet there are so many others that I hang out in the dark in my classroom pretending I'm not at school.  Do you all have that same sort of variety in your relationships with your co-workers?  Is this a normal feeling?

Regardless, I got to be back with my kiddos.  They're so much fun and truly why I keep at this job.  I'm just so dang attached to these families.  I've been here long enough that they know me and I have a reputation.

This year has been super stressful with trying to become Nationally Board Certified.  But, it'll all be over by the end of the year, with the classroom integrated tasks done by April.  I'm not looking forward to all of the typing I have to do over the next 3 months!  This may severely limit my blog posting... or maybe it will encourage it because it can be a nice distraction.  Either way at the end of this week I'll have less days left in the school year that we've already completed!  Yay!

Also, 3 days of 2012 and 3 blog posts.  This may be some sort of record for me.

Back to Reality

Well today was the last day of winter break.  It was nice to have a Monday to relax finish up those things we hadn't manage to accomplish in the last two weeks and best of all only having to change from one pair of pajamas into another ;)

We were super busy today. But we also got to sleep in (read 7:45) so it was bearable.

I straightened up the craft/guest room and found a home for all the table cloths my mom gave me for our gorgeous new dining room table.  I also found places for all the odds and ends craft materials that we accumulated over the month of December and my bright idea to "make all Christmas gifts".

We took Tuffy from looking like this: (John bathes him and I cut his hair with some assistance from John, but I'm learning its easier if i just do most of it myself.)



This picture makes him look much cleaner and much less scruffy then he actually was!

To now looking like this!  Such a handsome westie! And "Oh so cute and FLUFFY!" (name that movie)

And this picture really doesn't do justice to just how clean he is now and oh how soft his fur is!

We also found our desk.  It had been lost under a pile of stuff that was at least a foot high.  We're not quite done yet, but we made a sizable dent!  I can see the wood of most of the desk now!

I also gave John a hair cut, played the wii, and John went grocery shopping.

Then this evening we got a phone call from one of the sweetest ladies we know.  She's hosting a girl from China who's going to work at the school with us.  She was having issues getting her wifi working.  We went over to help.  I thought for sure I'd be able to figure it out... but then we got there and the girl's computer looked normal, but everything was written in Chinese!!! Yeah... I don't have all the menu's memorized on windows, nor am I that proficient without being able to read the tips and help screens. However, the sweet lady had a computer of her own so we logged onto it and I was able to help her get connected.  I was pretty excited that I was able to figure out a way to help her.  I'm excited to have her in my classroom and have her share her wealth of knowledge with my students.

So, as you can see, we had a very productive day.  Especially since I've now blogged two days in a row!  Go me!

Happy New Year!

I hope all of you had a lovely holiday season.  Ours has been fantastic.  We have enjoyed two weeks off together from work and gotten a lot accomplished.  We visited with friends, spent time with family, spent several hours at the St. George Temple, made lots of treats, ATE even more treats, made some part of EVERY single Christmas gift we gave, and hosted a lovely Christmas Dinner.

It's another new beginning to a new year.  Everyone's making resolutions and setting goals... I guess that's what this time of year is for.  However, I always make some fairly lofty resolutions that I never seem to live up to.  So here's my goals for this year. 

1. Keep my focus on what matters most. 
2. Do all the little things I know I should every day. 
3. Try new things, often. 

So there you have it.  I'd love to say I'll blog more, but I'm not making any promises.  I have inherited my sister's laptop while she's on her mission now that my brother is on his mission, too.  So maybe a little more blogging ;)

Who knows what this year will bring for us on the building our family front.  Honestly, I feel a little guilty when I say this out loud, but I really will be OK if 2012 passes by with no new additions for us.  There are enough loved ones and friends having babies for me to keep my arms full loving them!  And the most wonderful part, we have family and friends that allow us to snuggle up with and love on their kids.  We're so blessed!  

Happy New Year!  I hope this year finds you growing and learning, laughing and loving more than last year. 

Balance

I don't want to cause hurt feelings by writing this,  I'm not meaning to make anyone feel bad and I'm not blaming anyone or saying anyone causes/has caused me to loose my balance.  This is just what happened this week in my world and I'm trying to make sense of it all and deal with myself. 

I learned this week, that no matter how perfectly balanced I can have the infertility part of my life all  wrapped up and put away in its own little package at one moment, it can all change in an instant.  This week, it all came crashing down around me.  I was blindsided on fac.ebook about yet another "We're pregnant!" and that gazillion congratulations and celebrations that ensued.

I'm thrilled for them, I really am.  They've had a long, hard struggle with infertility themselves.  I know all too well what they've been through.

I don't know what I was expecting from them or from me.

Maybe, I thought they'd call or send us a text message whenever this finally happened for them because they know how much this could hurt, because they've been there.  Or maybe, I was expecting to have that feeling, you know the one, where you just KNOW someone is pregnant and it gives you a chance to deal with it and come to terms with it before being told, so by the time the person actually tells you, you can react appropriately. 

I don't know why I had the reaction I did about the news, but I just bawled and bawled.  I don't know what it was about their particular announcement that got to me; there have been several more pregnancy announcements, births, ultrasound, and maternity pictures plastered all over facebo.ok lately, none of which have bothered me.  Maybe, it was just everything building and finally my well balanced package finally tipped over and spilled all of its contents.

Regardless, I'm still reeling from it.  And, I'm bawling again just remembering all those feelings.

What I don't get is why, when my crap spills out of its package, I have to relive all of the contents all over as i pick up the pieces reviewing the same facts and lessons over again and again.  I promise I get it. I get that my Heavenly Father loves me no matter what.  I get that Heavenly Father has a plan for just me.  I get that it has to be in His infinite wisdom when I come to understand his plan for me. I get that I have many other blessings and I should be grateful for them.  I get that I need to stay close to Him to feel better.  I promise I get it.

However, I really don't need to relive these lessons over and over again.  It's painful and distressing.  I just want to be done with this part of my life where everything I've worked so hard to deal with can resurface at any given moment.  I want to move on already. Is that too much to ask? 

Here's what I know... whether in the midst of a self-proclaimed pity party or when I'm level headed...
I will be okay if we never have our own biological children.
I will be okay if we never have ANY children at all.
I will not be okay if the only reasons we don't get to pursue either of the above options is because of our lack of money and/or our remote location. 


Also, I really don't want advice, sympathy, and I especially don't want your pity, I just have to get this out.

Disappointment

So I have a question for you all... What do you do when other people disappoint you?  How do you deal with the situation?  How do you deal with the person/people?  How do you deal with the fallout and aftermath? 

I'm in a very interesting situation.  I've been disappointed by a lot of people in my life-time.  Usually, I'm just able to tell the person, resolve the situation and move on with new knowledge and let's be honest, generally a little less trust. 

Usually these situation deal directly with me and my involvement.  Someone didn't do what they said they would, someone didn't keep their word, some one's behavior was unacceptable.  

I'm also very loyal, or so I've been told.  I don't like people speaking badly of my friends, or anyone really.  (side note, venting is a whole other thing... Limit your venting and ensure the person your venting to can keep their mouth closed!)  I will try and stay out of it.  Speaking badly of others just makes the speaker look bad and mean spirited and those listening look just as foolish.

The current situation has to do with many people and multiple occasions.  I'm involved in a small number of them, but tried to just let them go, because individually they're insignificant.  However, the more I'm hearing about additional incidents involving my friends, the more upset I've become that I didn't confront my issues, because maybe if I had these additional incidents wouldn't have happened. So now, I feel very stuck.  I can't bring up and confront the offenders with my own issues, because they happened months ago.  I can't bring up other people's issues because it's really none of my business and they confided in me.  And, I can't not do anything because it's killing me inside to continue to witness my friends getting hurt and bullied.  

So, here I sit.  

Hating every aspect of my life when it comes to having to interact with these particular people that have disappointed me.  I can't avoid them.  My current life situation dictates that I deal with them on a fairly regular basis, and like it.  I'm not that good at "fake it 'til you make it!" although that is my motto. 

Maybe I shouldn't have had such high expectations.  Maybe I shouldn't have dealt with my individual issues with them in silence.  Maybe I should confront them now.  Maybe, maybe, maybe... ugh!  I really am at a loss here.  

Advice?  

And I swear if your advice is get over myself, I may hurt you if you don't tell me how to get over myself with detailed, step-by-step directions.