Crap...My favorite word lately...

Well I had to cancel my appointment for my yearly OBGYN visit (CRAP!) because the day before I found out I had


SWINE FLU!

Crap! Me of all the people... but alas I'm alive and survived it.

So I called to reschedule and they can't get me in for 3 more weeks! (CRAP!) I may die between now and then. There are a lot of signs pointing to another Laparoscapy being in my VERY near future. I'm sure if I called them (if I wasn't working while the office was open since they're in a different time zone) they could get me in sooner, but because of the time issue I'm going to have to take off at least part of a day of work... grrr it's just really obnoxious. (CRAP!)

I've been trying to put on a happy face and be social, and cordial, and my usual happy bubbly self (ok, that makes me sound WAY nicer than I actually am, but oh well)... but tonight I must have looked as crappy as I feel because NO ONE was buying my usual, I'm doing great, bit. (CRAP!) But that's what happens when you're in almost constant pain. I think I've had 2 days in the last 2 weeks that I've not been hurting.

But alas, nothing can be done this very instant so on to happier things...

I'm going to have THE BEST Show and Tell post this week. It is pictures from the get well cards my kids drew me while I was out with Swine Flu. THEY ARE SO HILARIOUS! I fell off my couch laughing at the one... I can't wait to share :) Have a great week!

Where are you from?

Right now I'm sitting in the very kitchen that I ate thousands of meals in, mostly pizza or hamburgers, had many birthday parties at, and helped my mom tape straight lines so she could paint :) I'm using the computer I helped my dad pick out and buy for my mom at least 5 years ago if not longer (I'm thinking 8). It is missing the apostrophe key, hence all the I'ms(oh wait spell checker fixes them! lol)... So much has changed, but much has remained the same.

People ask where I'm from all of the time. I always give them this long drawn out story of how Ive lived in different places equal number of years so each is part of me. This is true, but riding in the back of the car this time down my street it was different. It hit me like a ton of bricks.

THIS IS HOME.

Walking in the door was very different this time. My mom is in Utah with Bob, he had surgery yesterday. Dana is in Jerusalem. Logan is in California. And of course, my dad is gone. But my two youngest brothers, who are both much littler than they were the last time I saw them (I think together they've lost 75lbs) greeted us at the door. Along with Griffy the family westie.

I love Indianapolis and actually, I LOVE LOVE LOVE the town my family has spent the last 14 years in. Its definitely not the same as when I lived here over 8 years ago, but it is still home.

This house, this kitchen, this yard, this dog is all home. It smells like home still, too. I love this place, I love being here.

Even though my dad is gone, this place still is home.

Even though Ive grown up and moved on and have John, all that started here. This is home.

A huge portion of my heart will forever be in this place. First, a chunk stayed when I left for college. Another chunk stayed behind when I left this place as a wife. The largest portion stayed behind when my father passed away and I rushed HOME to be with my family.

I think for all of these reasons, I feel most complete in this place, as a human being. Everything seems to fall into place a little easier, I think more clearly, I am most like the me I remember before LIFE happened.

I love my life now. Sure would I change a couple of our current situations if it were up to me, probably... but I love it. However, I now know I have a very simple answer for a very simple question. This is the place I will ALWAYS call home, no matter who lives in the house, or where I spend Christmas or Thanksgiving holidays. This very house, where I no longer have a room, will always be HOME to me.

****I posted this on my personal blog, but I thought you all may enjoy it too. If you would like to find out more about me my personal blog address is reyeshouse.blogspot.com

It's been a long while! and Beware...hormones are raging!

I can't believe another month has come and gone and its ICLW time again. I love this time of the month, but with school back in session and hubby's college classes starting again on Monday... I'm not sure how successful I'll be in posting. Nothing is going on infertility wise in my life AT ALL. Some days, like today I hate myself for continuing to put it off, but we really have no choice. The closes RE is 90 minutes away at least and in a different state, we have no money for any sort of treatments, and John MUST finish school before we go there. (Like my justifications to myself?)

Today's been a crappy day. I'm at the point in the school year (8 days in) where I DESPERATELY miss my last year's class, and don't want to deal with (this year I don't know how to deal with) all the challenges this new group of children bring. Don't get me wrong, they're great kids and I know I'll feel the same way next year about that class just like I feel this way ever year about my new class, but gosh, today really sucked!

I think there must be some major hormonal changes going on inside my body right now...I'm either laughing yelling, or crying hysterically. It's a good thing my husband isn't home. I think he would banish me to my room! But maybe that is the best place for me.

Anyway, I have my yearly appt. on the 24th of Sept. I have some questions about why I've gained weight since I've started walking every morning... It's a little concerning to me only because it's the first time I've gained weight since being treated for PCOS with met.formin. Not to mention its the first time I've done any type of regular exercise at all in a long while. Even if it's not very much it's gotta be better then not doing anything right?

Welcome to all the ICLWers... Most of the recent posts that are up should be introduction types from the last few months. I'll try and catch up on all our travels before school started soon! Thanks for stopping by!

My Birthday Flowers/Show and Tell

Happy Show and Tell! This really is fun, maybe I should let my first graders do it this year... I always ban it until the week after Christmas break and then it is banned again... I really hate it because things get lost/stolen/broken etc.

Anyway, sorry about getting off topic, this week for show and tell I give you my birthday flowers that my husband brought home the day BEFORE my birthday! Not only are they my favorite flowers, but they made it to me before my birthday so that was even more special! It made 26 a little easier to handle... I don't know why it's so hard this year, but I FEEL SO OLD!

So, on to prettier things, Gerber Daisies!

This one's my favorite!

Now go check out what everyone else is showing for Show and Tell!

Happy ICLW!

It has become my favorite time of the month! ICLW is a time where I get out, "meet" new people, and find new blogs to follow. SO here's a little intro to me and things you may not know.

Top Ten Things I love to Eat

1. Chile Rellanos
2. Ice Cream
3. Potatoes
4. Cheese
5. Pizza
6. Flour Tortillas with butter and salt
7. John's homemade salsa (TO DIE FOR, and no I'm not just saying that he won a local contest last year!)
8. Carnitas either John's or Old Town Mexican Cafe in San Diego... Anyone live there and want me to come visit? I'll buy dinner! lol
9. Yo + yogurt
10. Fruit (strabewrries, pineapple, grapes, apples, oranges, kiwi, blackberries, raspberries, etc)

Top Ten Things I Don't Eat

1. Seafood of any kind
2. Mushrooms (why would you eat a fungus? Sorry I know it's my personal opinion but there it is)
3. Eggs
4. Milk (I've never drank milk for as long as I can remember!)
5. Raw anything
6. Odd parts like liver/eyeballs/ etc I know some people eat weird stuff but not I
7. bugs (never tried them, never will sorry!)
8. Im sure there's more but I can't think of anything else right now so moving on...

Top Ten things I Love about my Hubby

1. His Patience
2. loving
3. generally kind and nice, where I'm not so much...
4. excellent cook
5. determined
6. great with ALL kids (even the ones that annoy me)
7. Especially great with special needs kids
8. wants our own kids as much as I do
9. makes me laugh ALL THE TIME!
10. Works his butt off and ALWAYS tries his best

Anyway there are some things you probably didn't know about me before that you do now. Happy ICLW, Everybody!

Missing

Justin Hughes, John's (my husband) cousin's son has been missing since last Monday from Reno NV visit http://justinhughes.blogspot.com/ for more info and spread the word please!

Happy Birthday to Me :) Keep Moving Forward

Well tomorrow is my 26th birthday.

Tomorrow will mark the 1st day of the year in my life that I always imagined I'd have children by. Or at least that was the goal I had written on my exit exam from one of my High School classes.

I still have that paper. You know, the life plan you have when you're naive and young... The life plan before IF. Why did I put a year, a number, on this goal? Why 26? Maybe I thought that because that's when my mom had me, I don't know. But life isn't ever how you plan it.

I really doubt (unless there is a miracle out there for us which would be amazing btw) that there will be any children of our own in our lives this year. There will be plenty of first graders, primary kids, friends, niece, and nephews which we will love and spoil like we always do :) However, I must say, it is a tad bit on the sad side for me to know that my goal age for me having children will come and go, and not be reached. But I move forward. I love Disney's Meet the Robinsons for this message it shares about moving forward and not getting stuck in the past. It is so true. So tomorrow as I celebrate my birthday my wish will be that John and I can keep moving forward, and not get stuck in the past. Maybe I'll download the Rob Thomas song from the movie to play all day tomorrow too!

As a side note, my wonderful husband brought me a bouquet of Gerber Daisies home today (my favorite flower). I'll take pictures and share them for show and tell soon. They're GORGEOUS! :)